"It's a wolf-eat-pig world out there!"
AGE: 15 dog years (a coon's age)
FASHION RATING: B+ Fur is in this year, especially if it's attached to the owner and well-groomed.
LOVES: Huffing, puffing, pork, kid flesh (as in baby goat), talking to his food before he eats it.
HATES: Brick houses, huntsmen, smart pigs, chimneys, boys who cry wolf (and mean it), nosy little girls in red.